my art of letting go

(WBJJESD)

it has been long years since you've gone away
and left me here hanging for reasons to stay
those wicked months of sleepless nights
i end it all now, no logic left to fight.

because i know that i have been replaced
though you never told me with a straight face
i never know why you had to turn around
was i too dumb to believe this was somewhere bound?

i lost my everything as you walked out on me
how could i get it back when it's you whom i set free
but no matter how much i kept hold of you
i realize that the promise of you and i are through.

i admit i still wish for you when i'm sad
i still see your face and pretend it's you i once had
these thoughts still linger and never seem to fade
a security blanket of what's never there, i made.

i wonder why they say that time would heal all wounds
when it's matter of the heart, we're all fallen fools
so i say that i'm sure that i'll never get over you
but i have to try and live the existence i once knew.

one day at a time's all i got in prayer
knowing that each moment can be a chance to get over
the power of not knowing i take as a shield
to keep me sane from feeling a brokeness that won't heal.

at times i can feel a tear falling down my cheeks
i feel like my mind's not over memory tricks
for my heart would just burst from too much missing you
so i let my tears run of reasons i never had a clue.

days would pass me by as i stand here in the rain
the very place i wish you'd come back to me again
but as i feel the harsh coldness of the roaring thunder
i numb at the thought of you and him in bed together.

it used to be so right when i hear you laugh at me
now i question if my love's a joke that you thought was funny
so crushed at the thought that you could've been THE ONE
but left me here shattered with the biggest piece gone.

the moonlit shadow of your smile keeps me reminded
of how once i believed in our love unrequited
i turn on the lights and my room is getting smaller
and it's all of you in me and around me that linger.

as fallen autumn leaves are slowly pulled by gravity
i feel like my bleeding heart would break instantly
for it used to be your arms that pulled me up to the clouds
now it's just me, struggling to be safe and sound.

you'll never see these words that i've written
now that there's no way hell can ever touch heaven
i helplessly reach for you as you reach for someone else
an endless mind game that my heart won't foretell.

i pray to the skies that you'd feel how much i've learned
of how much i've matured after feeling all burned
would you be proud of me for standing up again
or would you have wanted me on the ground, broken?

our imaginary home i would be leaving behind
broken promises and mixed feelings are all you'd find
and as the powerlessness of fear would come over me
i hold on to tomorrow's shady possibility.

a memory of what used to be, that's how you'd remain
i better start packing my bags, no more hurt and pain
for seasons of unrequited glances would just be
a part of a haunted past that tonight i'd be setting free.

it has been long years since you've gone away
and tonight there's just one last thing i need to say
you're taking all my love that's why you have to know
i still love you this much that's why i'm letting you go.