the lifejacket

i drown
in the colors of you.
that in the light that once showed us
the faces of love
that i insisted i knew
now i found myself drowning
in the black hole of my choice.
i made a decision.
to let those colors
those colors of you
to fade
with me absorbing
all that is good
and all that is bad
in you.
i drown
in the happiness of you.
that in every smile i had realized
that never was there
you had me wondering
if id be able to find those smiles again
that in your absence
the absence of your disgusting crooked teeth
i heard the sweetest and most dangerous
words ever spoken.
i made a decision.
to hold my tongue
and never allow it to run
and catch another heart
only to break
all that is good
and all that is bad
in you.
i drown
in the strangeness of you.
i crept into your heart
and found my name
written all over it
above it
around it
behind it
i got lost in my name
inside your heart
full of f*cked up sh*t
of how life was when i was with you.
i made a decision.
to make sure my feet are clean
before i enter again
never to step inside
only to steal
all that is good
and all that is bad
in you.

i drown.
in you.

but now it's time
to save yourself.

so let me be.
let me drown
in you.