f*cking rain

i can't hear myself think
for the silence in my cornered room
is ambushed by the pitter patter of rain.

the windows are slightly jammed
to let the air go through, in and out
just like the very thought of you in pain.

been through the endless cycle
of left and right, of courtship and goodbye
yet i end up losing the things i thought i had.

crumbling in a state of indecisiveness
after all has been said and done
i realize i know nothing about love.

who wrote the book on this matter?
please hand me a copy, even in its raw form
just to get a glimpse of what to do.

that in the bizarre fate of what they say
is the greatest thing that could happen to a human being
i am everything that's blue.

close my eyes and drown the noise
the inside is fortified by the 6inch wall
but i can feel the wetness the rain brings.

how is that possible when all you thought
was the beginning of something everlasting
could be shaken by a stranger's feel?

was it my fault i let you in that rainy day
and thought shelter was all you needed
now it's me soaked in the unreal.

all the things i held dear and true
all the beliefs i thought would be enough
are toppled by your deliverance of beauty.

amidst the harsh needles outside
i can't think of anything but to break one's heart
just to pursue your unexpected movement inside me.

i crave for another moment
in the dryness of your words
i find comfort and challenge altogether.

i have lost my man's worth
to give up the longevity of what's stable
and risk the image of what's forever.

to have a short-lived romance
over the long normal-paced travel
would it mean i have already made my choice?

drowning in the inevitability
of a broken heart
the rain has flooded my voice.

surrender to the flow of the running water
given up all the various scenarios of what is best
and just let go of what has to be.

i still can't hear myself think
for the silence in my corned room
is now lit by your unending impossibility.