time in the middle of a break-up season

all i have is time.

for time as they claim, can heal all wounds.
wounds of division.
wounds of neglect.
wounds of depression.
wounds of a simple heartbreak.
but does it really?

i read one time that the heart isn't the one that breaks.
it is faith.
then you stop believing.

as one song goes, the heart can go through anything.
that only time can tell
how much the heart can bear.

fucking shit.

you just don't know what and who to believe anymore.

after months of singlehood,
i still find myself waking up to the possibility of you coming back.
that i had to drag myself out of bed
just to wash my face clean
and look at the mirror
and see a reflection of once was happy
and loved without reservation.
yet now all i see is a face
an unfamiliar face
that lost a certain glow of ecstacy.
an ecstacy that once belonged to someone
or caused by someone
who looks at this face
and sees a person of worth.

i look at my reflection.
and i see no worth.

how sad.
the saddest of all the things in the world.
is how i cannot seem to get over the fact
that this is how it shall be from now on.

i still crave time with you.
silently. very still. in the stillness of the darkest night.
i still crave time with you.

i never thought i'd be standing here again.
broken up.
into pieces that do not quite fit the whole
i once possessed.

the break-up season is indeed the toughest time in a person's life.
yet somehow after the shadow, the light nearby shines.

i really wish for it to be over.
that in a couple of days, exactly a year ago,
was when i was happiest.

how quickly time has eluded
and took it away from me.

give it back.

desperately wanting it back.

i want to see my worth again.
and never have to face another break-up season.

i hope this just passes me once.

have i already learned my lesson?
you tell me.

don't worry.
i have all the time.