crossroad

tonight, i stand before you
like any of the other nights since you've gone away.
i stand before you
not knowing how to start walking without you.
i'm stuck.
i couldn't believe that you've gone
so so far away
without me.
when i thought i was the one
you couldn't live without.
but now we are living half-full lives.
or is it just me?
i don't want to go on without you.
but what can i do?
when you've gone
so so far away
without me.

i am so empty without you.

you are my reason for being happy.
so how can you say that i am not,
when i was there with you always?
loneliness has left me crying my nights away.
hopefully when i wake up,
you'd be there.
tell me, will you be there?
your leaving has left me in tears.
did i ever make you feel insignificant?
my world may be small.
but it was you who made it go 'round.
haven't i told you, of how much of a reason you are to me
to be alive?
you are the air i breathe.
haven't i stressed enough
of how happy you make me?
you do babe.
from day one, you do.
so don't you ever tell me that i'd be happy somewhere else.
right where you are is where i'd rather be.

but if loving you would mean
standing here 'til you come back,
then i shall remain standing for the rest of my life.
until you come back.

come back.

come back.

come back.

you know for a fact that i would meet you halfway.

come back.

come back.

come back.

i miss you

i miss you.

i've been counting the days til i can finally say that i am over you.
it's even disturbing to think that you have already moved on.
without me, of course.
but do i even cross your mind when you're doing nothing?
do you ever wonder if i still think of you?
of course i do.
to the very core of me, you know i do.
why'd you have to go?
you told me of your reasons.
yet somehow, i don't entirely believe them.
for why would you shed tears?
was it for show?
i hope not.
i hope you really loved me.
for i did.
for i do.
and probably for the longest time, i will.
until you come back.
or someone new would come along.
or a newer version of you would come along.
i cried for you.
just not to your face.
for my weakness would only bring you lower.
i don't want that.
it has always been your happiness that i wished for.
even in my prayers, i mention your name.
your very happiness is all that matters to me.
so i cry in silence.
i cried to my friends.
i cried to my pillows.
i cried to God.
just not to your face.
you matter to me more than you can ever imagine.
i am not putting any burden upon you nor make you feel guilty.
for love knows no guilt.
just the outflow of what is genuinely good.
i want you to know how you still hold me in my dreams.
even in my dreams i can talk to you.
you just don't answer me back.
but seeing your eyes even in my dreams is worth it.
sometimes, i don't want to wake up at all for them to last longer.
you say we let go.
but i am still holding on.
people laugh.
yeah they laugh.
to my face a couple of times.
yet i need not defend myself.
for they never could understand.
i loved you like there was no one before you.
nor would follow you.
i love you still.
today is a special day.
it used to be our day.
now, i celebrate it by myself.
and with you in my dreams.
not really knowing of how to reach you.
or if you'd reach out to me in return.
so i sit still.
patiently.
for that grand gesture.
probably you wouldn't .
but still i hope.
for in all that has happened between us,
i see a side of you i never can let go of.
i love you to my final days.

i miss you.