crutches

I sit still.
As the earth is moving,
Revolving around its destined path
Around the sun.
I count the very second that I get to move
And walk once again.
I envy the earth.
It constantly turns nights into days.
How easy it is for him,
Real easy.
Does it ever get bored of doing the same thing
Day in, day out?
God, no.
Then we'd all be dead if it stops moving.
I don't want to die yet.
I haven't really gotten to move again.
So I sit still.

Anticipating.
Wondering.
Longing.
Praying.

I sit patiently.
Unknowingly how time passes me by.
The seasons have begun to change
Drastically as if winter is in between summer and autumn.
I never get to see spring.
How come?
I thought we're all under the same sky,
Yet somehow the snow never left my doorstep.
The new blooms are still covered
By thick white snow.
How something so white be ever so cold?
I wonder if this, too, shall pass.
So I sit patiently.

Awaiting.
Daydreaming.
Sighing.
Praying.

I sit here breathing.
Every heartbeat belongs to someone.
I spread myself thinly
To the things I thought were important.
I forgot what really is worth of me
And my energy.
I lost it to the cascading tears of a lonely heart.
Inhaling what's left,
Decreasing the momentary push and pull of my tummy.
I don't want to feel the numbness
Of an empty chair beside me.
Love has given me another lesson to learn.
I sit here breathing.

Blinking.
Hurting.
Craving.
Praying.

Please.
Come by.
And pick me up off my feet.

I want to walk again.
Please.

dreaming @ 12:58 am

Take me away.
To far-off castles and fortresses
Of high-rise walls and open lawns.
I dream of what's it like
To just run free
And to know there's someone out there
Watching me
Like I'm the only one moving
Amidst the swaying irises.

I run crazily,
Shouting at the top of my lungs
How it feels good to be alive
And be alive for one person and one person only.

I wonder if you smile at the thought of me.
Like there's a hidden message
Why we're like this.
Hungry for life
And its complications
Yet we remain an unsolved mystery;
And the deepest desire
To finish each other's sentences
Doesn't bother us at all.

The sunlight burns the cattails.
Even drying the lakeside.
But I raise my wondering eyes
As if I were his friend and he was mine.
I wanna touch it,
And hold it,
And keep it for myself.
This time I want to be selfish
To own the sunlight
And its promise of a new day.
Then at least I wouldn't have to worry
About sleeping 8 hours
Or even half of my lifetime.
For I possess the light
And it is bound to me
Chained to all that is warm and fuzzy.
Exactly how I feel when I see you smile.

Glistening in the moondrops of the early morn
I shiver at the sight of the vastness of the skies
How infinitely small I am
Compared to the constellation Orion.
You say to me I am the only star
That lingers in your heaven
A moving body that circles and circles your every purpose.
You gave it a name.
A name that is familiar
A name that only you call me.
Now you own the star.
I own the sun.
Who owns the galaxy?

Take me away.
Where there's nothing wrong
With wanting something that's never going to be yours.
Where there's equal happiness
At the sight of a colorful horizon and an autumn maple leaf.
Where there's endless summer and rain at the same time.
Where there's an assurance
That we are loved without holding back
That we are held without restriction.
Where there's a life
That isn't too easy that we know not how to swear
Nor too difficult that we know not how to laugh.
Where there's only our names
Written on the sand.

Take me away with you.
Until we grant the solemn promise
Made between heaven and hell
That this is meant to be.

Your eyes have made all things alive.

Where there's you,
I am home.

the labor day masterpiece

I close my eyes.

I see you smile.
I see the way you first looked at me.
From a distance.
Not too far, not too near.
Just a perfect distance.
That I can reach your aura.
An aura of youth
Of vibrance
Of hunger for life.
You surprise me.
I think my lack of this zest
Brings me closer to how you are.
And how you want to be.
I am drawn to you.

I open my eyes.

I admit it does scare me.
That your pace might leave me stranded.
In a place where I just look at you.
From a distance.
This I fear.
Most of all.
That you leave me.
As you answer the call of the wild.
As you accept the challenges of life.
As you bask in the spotlight.
Should we work around it?
Do we work through it?
Can we make it?
It's up to me.
It's up to you.
It's up to us.
Supposedly, an us has to be in order of things.

I close my eyes.

I'm thinking ahead.
Yet you choose to play it by ear.
Even that, i fear.
Of us not being in the same page.
You're already at the momentum of life.
I'm browsing thru the table of contents.
Does it really matter to you?
It has begun to matter to me.
It's in my eyes.
It's in my smile.
It's in my touch.
Especially in my touch.
Can you feel it?
Or does it stop at the epidermis?
It transcends all of me.
From the future that I know not.
To the past that holds no return.
It is you in the present.
A present I am wittingly accepting
To be anything but natural.
Your presence has blown me away.
Into proportions that I never knew existed.
I can't stop thinking about you.
And how I know I can make you happy.
Or just how we breathe the same oxygen
Pulls me into coma.
A coma of you and your lips.
A perfect combination of what is unexplainable.
Unrealistic.
A simple truth of how once it was all easy.
Now you've given me a choice.
That still you realize you've handed to me
Quite unknowingly
Yet it seems to me you know how to play deadly games on people.

I open my eyes.

Do you know this is for you?

In simple words,
You're a masterpiece.
I cannot ever ever afford.

Give yourself to me then.

I close my eyes.